April 10, 2024
Passage Read: Psalm 39-42
Meditation Verses: 39:4-7
Thought
David was silent in the presence of the wicked, for fear of sinning with his tongue. He refrained even from doing good, but his sorrow only grew worse, and his heart grew hot inside him. Then he spoke (in the presence of the wicked?) and asked God to help him see how brief was his life on earth, and every man's life, and how pointless was the amassing of wealth. Instead, he looked to the Lord and waited for Him. He understood that the Lord loves righteousness and disciplines the man who sins. The only thing of value in this life, the thing God desires from the men He created is to walk in righteousness and holiness and goodness. And that can be a heavy load to bear, such that we wish the Lord would let us be for a time, that we might not have to worry about godliness, that we could have a little breathing room, relax a little before we depart this life. We're so conflicted: We want God to draw near, to care about us, to be our deliverer, but then we want Him to stand back a bit, not get too close, for fear that we might have to change too much of ourselves. If only there were a place close to heaven but not in it where we could dwell forever, near to the Lord, but free from His constant presence, His constant gaze, His increasing judgment and discipline and training. Then we could choose how righteously we wanted to live and yet be able to call on the Lord for help whenever we wanted Him.
Application
Who then would be Lord of my life? Do I then really want to go to heaven? Do I really want to live in Christ's kingdom? I'm caught between a rock and a hard place: my only choices are heaven and hell. Earth will not be free from the oversight of God forever. My time here is brief, then I enter judgment, and it's either heaven or hell. As for the earth? Eventually God will reclaim the earth and rule it according to His righteousness, not mine. Do I really want to be there? Does God require too much of me when He acts as Lord of my every moment? Do I have any rights over myself at all, or am I completely His to do with as He pleases? I was created by Him to bring Him glory, either by my rightful condemnation or by my willing and joyful total submission and obedience. Indeed, until I no longer see myself as my own but completely His, I will continue to chafe under His rule, to the degree that I desire to retain some sovereignty over myself. Life would be more joyful if I just surrendered all.