We Christians talk about eternal security. We talk about salvation by faith alone. But I do not think most of us have a good understanding of what that really means. Paul warns us not to grieve the Holy Spirit, but in the same breath he tells us we have been sealed by the Spirit for the day of redemption. If our salvation is secure, what do we have to worry about? Isn’t God forgiving? Isn’t the Holy Spirit also so patient and kind and forgiving? From Ephesians 4:30.

The Holy Spirit

³⁰ And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

As we look at Paul’s instruction here, we recognize several things:

1. The Holy Spirit can be grieved: He is personal; He has feelings; He can be hurt.

2. We have been sealed with the Holy Spirit

3. There is a day of redemption that has not yet come, for which we have been sealed

That brings up several immediate questions:

1. Who is the Holy Spirit?

2. Have we in this room been sealed with Him?

3. How can we grieve Him?

4. Does grieving Him have any impact on our status at the day of redemption?

The first question is easy, right? The Holy Spirit is the third person of the trinity. Piece of cake!

Or not. There are many who struggle with the concept of the Trinity, some even going so far as to say that because the word “trinity” isn’t used in the Bible, therefore it cannot be a biblical concept. That is arguing about words (2 Timothy 2:14) and semantics, and a foolish way to cut yourself off from biblical truth!

The word “trinity” comes from the Latin word for “triad,” which comes from the Latin word for “threefold.” The idea is that God is only one God, but He has revealed Himself to us in three Persons: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. You’ll notice throughout Scripture that all three are referred to by the personal pronouns “He and Him.” Yes, God has preferred pronouns, so use them correctly!

The Holy Spirit is not singled out by the pronoun, “It,” which means He is not an impersonal force, but is every bit a personal being as you and me. As such, He is able to experience both joy and grief, which Paul indicates here.

The Scriptures make plain that our God is one God only. For example in Deuteronomy 6:4 (NIV), often referred to as the “Shema,” we read, “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one.” Yet the Old Testament also hints at God as a plural being. The Hebrew word “Elohim,” the first of God’s names to appear in Scripture, is the plural form of “El,” but when referring to God, it always appears with singular verbs, adjectives and pronouns.

In English, consider the statement, “He speaks” verses “They speak.” Notice how the verb changes. Other languages are even more sensitive to plurals than English. To our minds, when talking about God, proper grammar requires us to say, “God speaks.” But the Hebrew is more akin to “Gods speaks.” Though “Gods” is plural, it is not referring to many gods, but the One True God. He is only one God, so the correct verb form is singular. Sorry for the grammar lesson, but it illustrates what’s actually happening in the original Hebrew text of the Bible. And it bends the mind, which is appropriate considering how hard a concept the trinity is to the human mind.

Go back to the very first verses of the Bible, and you begin to see the plural nature of God. Genesis 1:1-2 speaks of God creating the heavens and the earth, and the Spirit of God hovering over the waters. They appear to be two distinct entities, but the Spirit is God’s Spirit. Is that merely a reference to God being a spirit being and happening to take up a physical position over the waters of His newly created earth?

A couple dozen verses later and we have God recorded as saying, “Let us make man in Our image” (Genesis 1:26, NIV). Some will argue that He’s speaking to a council of “gods,” but that interpretation is not necessary if you accept God as one God revealed to us through multiple persons. Three, in fact.

One of the clearest Old Testament revelations of the Son is in Isaiah 9:6, where the Messiah is given several titles, including “Mighty God, Everlasting Father” (NIV). There is no hint of any other person of the Godhead in the Old Testament.

The New Testament then removes all doubt about the triune nature of God. In Matthew 28:19 (NIV) Jesus tells us to baptize people “in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.” In effect, He’s saying that we need to baptize people into the name of the One True God who is Triune. If you baptize people into any other name, you are baptizing them into a false god.

Paul gives us one of the most oft used benedictions in Christian tradition (2 Corinthians 13:14, NIV): “May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.” All three persons of the trinity are explicitly named and linked together in the place of God. The truth of the trinity is clear for anyone with ears to hear what the Spirit is saying to the churches (Revelation 2:7 and others).

As one person of the Godhead, the Holy Spirit is Himself fully God, just as Jesus is and just as the Father is. But the Spirit is not the Father, nor the Son. He has His own role to play in the plans and purposes of God.

Sealed with the Spirit

As our verse today tells us, one of His purposes is to be a seal upon the saints of God. We saw this back in chapter 1:

And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession—to the praise of his glory. (Ephesians 1:13-14, NIV)

When a person hears and believes the Gospel of Jesus Christ, God places His Spirit on or in him or her as a mark of ownership and as a deposit guaranteeing his or her salvation at the return of Christ. This idea of marking people for salvation has appeared before in Scripture.

Before the destruction of Jerusalem at the end of the kingdom age, Ezekiel was brought to the city in a vision. He saw the Lord abandon His temple, but on the way out, He instructed seven angelic beings to execute His judgment on the people of the city:

Now the glory of the God of Israel went up from above the cherubim, where it had been, and moved to the threshold of the temple. Then the LORD called to the man clothed in linen who had the writing kit at his side and said to him, "Go throughout the city of Jerusalem and put a mark on the foreheads of those who grieve and lament over all the detestable things that are done in it." As I listened, he said to the others, "Follow him through the city and kill, without showing pity or compassion. Slaughter old men, young men and maidens, women and children, but do not touch anyone who has the mark. Begin at my sanctuary." So they began with the elders who were in front of the temple. Then he said to them, "Defile the temple and fill the courts with the slain. Go!" So they went out and began killing throughout the city. (Ezekiel 9:3-7, NIV)

The scribe-angel marked those who grieved and lamented over all the wicked things God’s people were doing against Him. All the rest were killed by the six guard-angels. Those who were marked were saved; those who weren’t were lost. This phenomenon appears again in Revelation, when 144,000 Jews are marked as specially chosen and protected through all the wrath that God pours out on the last generation of this age (Revelation 7:1-8).

These are both a picture of what the Holy Spirit is for us: a sign to God of our guaranteed salvation. We who bear the mark of the Spirit will be brought out of this earth on the day Jesus returns, before God pours out His wrath on all those who reject Jesus as Lord and Savior.

And there’s only one way to gain this mark: Hear and believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God and promised King, that He died to pay the penalty of our sins and that He rose again to reign over all creation. He who bows the knee and repents of his own evil ways, who submits to the Lord Jesus to learn from and follow, he will be forgiven on the basis of Jesus’ death and resurrection, and he will be marked, sealed with the Holy Spirit, guaranteeing his entrance into Christ’s kingdom and God’s eternity at the return of Christ.

Salvation is by faith alone. Faith in the Gospel of Jesus Christ causes us to be sealed with the Holy Spirit as a guarantee of God’s promise to complete our salvation.

So does it really matter if we grieve the Holy Spirit? I mean, it’s certainly impolite, given that He is the one who displays whether we are among the saved or lost. But apart from that, is there really anything about this instruction for us to be concerned about?

To answer that, we need to know how we can grieve the Spirit. And to understand that, we need to understand the work and responsibility of the Holy Spirit, beyond simply sealing us for the day of redemption.

Grieving the Spirit

It is the Spirit who does in fact do the cleansing and transformation of us who believe the Gospel. We saw that in Titus 3:5. He is the one who gives us a new heart, upon which God’s Law is written. He is the one who makes us a new creation, “created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:24, NIV).

Have you ever spent time training someone in a task, patiently working with them, teaching them step by step how to do a job, going over it again and again, only to see them apply no effort to learn or understand? Can you imagine the grief of the school teacher who watches the student who cares nothing about his education?

The Holy Spirit has made us new. He’s also the author of the whole Bible (2 Peter 1:19-21)! And He is the one who not only teaches us and reminds us of what has already been said (John 14:26; John 16:12-15), but He is the one who helps us understand all that has been written (1 Corinthians 2:9-16). How would you feel if you were not merely the teacher, spending day after day teaching and explaining the concepts and processes, and doing hands-on practice with the student week after week—but you’re also the author of the instruction book your students are supposed to be studying? You are the one real expert in the subject matter! And they hardly listen in class—some pay no attention at all. Some even cut class! And few do any of the assigned readings or homework! Wouldn’t you be a little bent out of shape?

Everything you’re doing is for their good, and they treat you like a ghost. Like a joke.

Jesus also told us that it is the Holy Spirit who convicts everyone of “guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgment” (John 16:7-11, NIV). He comes along and pokes you in the conscience. Something’s not right. You’re doing something wrong. Or there’s something you’re supposed to be doing but you’re not. It’s the Holy Spirit that activates the conscience of the unbeliever. It’s the Holy Spirit who testifies to the believer’s spirit that they’re in sin.

He warns us that the path we’re on is not good. It leads to destruction. He’s pleading with us, trying to save our lives. Do we listen? How many times have your been barreling down the highway and all of a sudden these orange signs start showing up. Small at first. Widely spaced to begin with. But then they become bigger and more insistent. The come faster, one right after another. “Hit a worker, lose your license.” “Speed fines doubled in work zones.” “Work Zone Speed Limit 55.” “Lane Ends Merge Left.” Those signs are there for your safety and for the safety of the road crews! If you ignore them, you’ll go crashing right into their heavy equipment or soft flesh! You’ll destroy lives and property, including your own.

That’s exactly the good the Holy Spirit is trying to do for us whenever He convicts us over some sin. Don’t ignore Him! Don’t put Him off! We need to listen to Him, turn from our wrong path, learn to do right. Can you imagine His grief when all His warnings go unheeded and you bring disaster into your own life and the lives of others?

One of His most fundamental warnings is the Gospel itself. Jesus tells us that the Holy Spirit testifies about Jesus—and one of His works in our life is to make us also witnesses of Jesus (John 15:27-27; Acts 1:6-8). We’re one of those flaggers in the road ahead of the construction zone. We’re supposed to be working in concert with the Holy Spirit to warn others of the broad road to destruction they’re on and plead with them to change lanes onto the narrow path that leads to life. What if you’re derelict in your duty? What if you decided to go shopping that day instead of standing in the road waving your flag? “Bridge Out! Turn Around!” Whoosh! Off they go into oblivion. Only that’s not their ultimate destination; they’re on their way to eternal torment.

How frustrating would it be if you ran a business and all your employees flaked out on you? You schedule so-and-so for this shift and they don’t show up. No warning, no call. You assign whats-his-name to that task, and instead he’s off cleaning the break-room fridge. Are you the boss or what? They don’t listen to anything you say! Would you keep them around?

Can you imagine how God feels when His people ignore His instructions and assignments and go off instead to do whatever they want? You can’t run a business with that kind of employee. Do you think God will run a kingdom with that kind of believer?

And then there are the spiritual gifts the Spirit has given to each believer for the benefit of the whole body of believers. Some of us use them for our own aggrandizement. Many of us don’t bother with them at all! Like being hired to work in a factory with all kinds of fancy robotic equipment. All you have to do is make sure each robot does it part. And instead, you’re out there on the line yourself with a screwdriver assembling things the robots can do a hundred times faster. Or you’re in the break room, sharing the spoils from cleaning the fridge!

Everything we need, every tool, every instruction, all power—everything we need for life and godliness has been given to us. Everything we need to advance the kingdom of God has been given us. Can you imagine how grieved the Spirit would be to find us doing anything and everything except the things He’s designed and equipped us to do?

Unbelief

It should be pretty obvious at this point how easily we are able to “grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom [we] were sealed for the day of redemption.” So it should also be obvious how we can keep from grieving the Holy Spirit, yes?

It’s as simple as just doing what God’s Word says!

When our sons were younger and learning to read their Bibles, we also taught them to look for an application. It became something of a joke around our house that every application ended up as, “Obey God.”

That’s all well and good. That’s a great foundation. But what happens when you come to an actual instruction? You’ve been telling yourself all alone that you will obey God. But do you?

It’s not even the disobedience that primarily grieves the Holy Spirit: It’s the lack of faith. It’s the unbelief.

Why do we choose to follow our flesh and the wisdom of the world rather than walk in God’s ways? Remember the first time God brought the Israelites to the Promised Land to claim it. They sent twelve spies to check it out and map a route for them. Ten of those spies returned and told all the people that it was impossible; they would be destroyed if they tried to take the land. That’s unbelief in God. That’s seeing earthly adversaries as more powerful than the might of God. That makes God out to be very small. Listen to Numbers 14:6-11 and hear how that hits God:

Joshua son of Nun and Caleb son of Jephunneh, who were among those who had explored the land, tore their clothes and said to the entire Israelite assembly, "The land we passed through and explored is exceedingly good. If the LORD is pleased with us, he will lead us into that land, a land flowing with milk and honey, and will give it to us. Only do not rebel against the LORD. And do not be afraid of the people of the land, because we will swallow them up. Their protection is gone, but the LORD is with us. Do not be afraid of them." But the whole assembly talked about stoning them. Then the glory of the LORD appeared at the Tent of Meeting to all the Israelites. The LORD said to Moses, "How long will these people treat me with contempt? How long will they refuse to believe in me, in spite of all the miraculous signs I have performed among them?

Their refusal to go in and take the land revealed their lack of faith in God. God called that contempt for Him! After all the great things He had done for them, they still refused to believe that with His help, they could take out fortified cities and huge people!

We don’t disobey God because we think His commands are bad. We agree that most of them are good for us! We disobey God because we’re afraid of what will happen to us—here and now—if we do what He asks! We’re afraid of what we’ll lose out on if we do things His way. We’re afraid of what we might actually have to suffer if we obey Him. We’re more concerned with immediate or earthly benefits than we are with making God’s name glorious by doing what He asks, even if it costs us everything. We’re happy to follow God and do things His way as long as it brings us good here and now. But if there’s a chance that doing things His way will cause us to suffer in some way, to suffer set back, to lose out on something, then we’d rather do things another way.

When we choose obedience to God, we show everyone around us how much more precious God is to us than all the riches and comforts this world has to offer. When we choose to do things another way—and there is only one other lord and master—we show the world how much more valuable the things of this life and this world are to us than God. We treat God with contempt by failing to believe that He is able to make good on His promises. Because we refuse to believe in His ability to protect us and bless us, we choose to live by our own wisdom. Surely you can imagine how grieved He would be, after all He has done for us.

Consequences

There are many consequences to dishonoring the Spirit and disobeying His voice. Perhaps the most obvious is that He stops bothering to speak to us. Paul illustrates this in Acts 28, when the Jews of Rome came to hear what he had to say about Jesus.

They arranged to meet Paul on a certain day, and came in even larger numbers to the place where he was staying. From morning till evening he explained and declared to them the kingdom of God and tried to convince them about Jesus from the Law of Moses and from the Prophets. Some were convinced by what he said, but others would not believe. They disagreed among themselves and began to leave after Paul had made this final statement: "The Holy Spirit spoke the truth to your forefathers when he said through Isaiah the prophet: " 'Go to this people and say, "You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving." For this people's heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.' "Therefore I want you to know that God's salvation has been sent to the Gentiles, and they will listen!" (Acts 28:23-28, NIV)

Paul spent a full day explaining who Jesus was from the whole Old Testament, yet still most were unconvinced. So he quotes Isaiah, in effect saying there is no hope for them. Because they refused to believe him that day, he concludes that they simply cannot hear! So he will take his message elsewhere. In fact, he says it in such a way that it is not him who is passing this judgment, but God. God will send His Gospel to the Gentiles, “and they will listen!”

This is the same pattern Jesus laid down for His disciples in Matthew 10. If we refuse to receive and act on what God is speaking to us, God stops speaking to us. He abandons us and turns to others who will respond.

There is more to that than God simply going silent on us.

Over the course of our study of Ephesians 4, we’ve only seen a few direct commands. Paul began with the plea to “be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:2-3, NIV).

In verses 17-24, he insists that we no longer live as the Gentiles do, but rather put off our old self and put on the new. That’s more of a general statement that finds its fulfillment in our response to every other specific command in God’s word. We cease to live as unbelievers, putting off the old and putting on the new, by choosing to walk in obedience to these instructions.

He has told us to stop lying to one another and be honest (4:25), to not sin in our anger (4:26-27), to stop stealing but share with those in need (4:28) and to ensure that only beneficial things come out of our mouths (4:29). Are you applying all diligence in these matters? Great! You are pleasing the Holy Spirit of God!

But if you forgot them as soon as you walked out those doors, if it has not been important to you to get busy correcting these things, then beware! You are grieving the Holy Spirit. And if you no longer feel a prick in your conscience or spirit when you violate these commands, be further afraid! The Spirit has gone silent and you are on the brink of being abandoned. Repent now! Don’t delay!

If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God. Anyone who rejected the law of Moses died without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. How much more severely do you think a man deserves to be punished who has trampled the Son of God under foot, who has treated as an unholy thing the blood of the covenant that sanctified him, and who has insulted the Spirit of grace? (Hebrews 10:26-29, NIV)

If we delay obedience to what we have heard, we are provoking the Lord to anger! We are scorning Him and trampling the blood of Jesus under our feet! That’s Jesus Christ, who suffered to save us! How would you feel if your son or daughter sacrificed their life for a friend and the friend showed no concern, no gratitude whatsoever. If a loved one gave their life in war to save ours and we honored them not at all? (Memorial day is right around the corner….) Would you not be furious? Then you have a sense of how God feels. How the Holy Spirit feels.

He will not simply be grieved and saddened. He will revoke whatever salvation you thought you had. And worse.

It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age, if they fall away, to be brought back to repentance, because to their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace. (Hebrews 6:4-6, NIV)

There will be no coming back from that. No opportunity to repent and make things right. You have publicly shamed Jesus Christ. God is irrevocably offended!

Salvation is by faith alone, but faith produces action: obedience to God (Romans 1:5; Acts 26:20; James 2:14-26; 1 John 3). When faith shows itself to be unbelief by our unwillingness to trust God and obey Him, the salvation we thought we had is no longer ours. We are lost. Not by our disobedience, but by our unbelief. You cannot believe Jesus died for your sins and rose again, then live the rest of your life in contempt of Him and all He stands for and all He asks of us, and still expect to enter His eternal kingdom. It won’t happen.

Conclusion

• The Holy Spirit is God

• He dwells within us at all times

• Ignoring the teachings, conviction and promptings of the Spirit insults God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit, who have offered and are offering you every resource to succeed in Christlikeness

• Believing the Gospel, but living without regard to God’s commands means you are not eternally secure

We’ve all been behind a car with the “Baby on Board” sign. Paul reminds us here that we were sealed with the Holy Spirit of God. We have the Holy Spirit on board! How helpful it would be to have a sign—not for others, but for ourselves!—to remind us that He is with us, wherever we go. How would we behave differently if we remembered that He sees everything we do; He hears everything we say.

Does He rejoice over our words and actions? Or do we cause Him to wince now and again? Are we quick to respond when He prompts us to apologize, make things right and change our ways? Or do we grieve Him by our insensitivity to our wrong ways?

We will surely cause Him embarrassment now and again, but when we do, we must be quick to repent, whether He brings conviction internally or through another person. It is the broken and contrite soul who trembles at His Word that He delights in (Isaiah 66:2b). If we keep treating Him with contempt by refusing to listen to His commands and instructions and directives, He will abandon us. Whatever seal, whatever security, whatever hope of eternal life we thought we had will be lost to us, whether revoked or proven never to exist.

So, as the Holy Spirit says: "Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion, during the time of testing in the desert, where your fathers tested and tried me and for forty years saw what I did. That is why I was angry with that generation, and I said, 'Their hearts are always going astray, and they have not known my ways.' So I declared on oath in my anger, 'They shall never enter my rest.' " See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. (Hebrews 3:7-13, NIV)

Every time we read the Bible, every time a faithful servant of God comes and teaches accurately from His Word, every time His still, small voice testifies to your spirit, you are hearing from the Holy Spirit. Do not harden your heart against what is taught; rather, diligently put into practice all you hear, and daily encourage each other to do likewise.